I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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