Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
This house was built for laser tag.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
