remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
