Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
