I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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