walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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