What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
