Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
