Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
