I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
