it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize