go do what you do best...puke behind churches
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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