You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
