im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
