Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
