plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
