Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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