dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
