Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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