This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
