What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
