I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
