These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
