I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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