so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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