I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
