every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
