How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize