someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
