this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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