One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
