You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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