wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
