i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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