Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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