none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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