Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
foreskin is a definite game changer
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
