we need to drink 2009 down the drain
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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