It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
