Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
