I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
