before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
