We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I deserve this hangover.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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