considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
