You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
