but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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