Don't you send me to vm
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
