Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
