I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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