every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize