You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
