he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
