were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize