Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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