How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
