Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize