We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
