I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
