i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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