Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I accidentally had phone sex last night
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
