ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he was CRYING into my vagina
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
